I just killed a huge tree

I'm currently sitting in the computer lab on campus. I just broke the printer because I tried to print 600+ pages. Before you judge me, let me defend myself for a millisecond by telling you I DID try to print front and back. But when I realized it was printing out a 100 page bible study only on the front side, there wasn't much I could do to stop the printer. I also could not stop the printer when some girl attempted to print one page from the public printer that I happened to be hogging. Poor thing. She waited for me while I made SIX sets of the 100 page bible study. I apologized profusely, wishing I could crawl under the table and hide as she glared at me and said "what class is that for?" I didn't have the heart to tell her I don't even go here anymore, much less that I was killing trees for the Lord. It took 15 minutes to complete the print job. After my papers were finished, I realized the printer was out of ink. Again, I wanted a super power in order to make myself invisible. Too bad I'm still here an hour later, waiting for the maintenance man.
In order to entertain myself, I'm thinking about the fact that Thomas is sitting in geology lab. Yes friends, in order to graduate from our beloved Clemson University, Thomas Adam Austin V must take a one hour geology lab to fulfill his science requirements. You have no idea the joy this brings me. Especially when I walked into our house the other day to find him sitting at the table, magnifying glass in hand, peering at his rock collection. Pictures soon to follow, I assure you.

That girl needs to check her bag.

I was home for a total of 3 days before it was time to leave again. We went to Mr. Ramsey's funeral in Greensboro on Monday, which entailed a caravan of about 12 football guys who wanted to be there for Ben. It meant so much to him (and to us) that they all came. We made two stops for food in the three hour journey. On average every hour and a half. Totally unnecessary. Hardee's and Krispy Kreme. Roughly 1000 calories per boy. That's half of my daily caloric need.

Wednesday I packed up again to head to D.C. to visit with my newest niece and namesake MARGARET JOY. She's a beauty: More on her later. I flew out of Charlotte, which meant my mother had to drop me off at the airport. This entailed an outrageous scene where she literally stuffed baby clothes into my sweaty running shoes so that she could send more things to my sister. This included her shoving a half gallon of strawberries from my uncle's produce farm into my purse. Oh, and did I mention she put sugar snap peas ON ICE into my suitcase? I was only taking one carry-on, mind you. I'd already packed light, but this was outrageous. I was dreading the scene that would take place when I actually tried to get through security like so. Jeannie insisted on taking a photo of the produce:

Security was a breeze. It took all of four minutes. Unfortunately, I thought I was in the clear with all the produce and baby items. Not so. When I boarded the plane, I realized my suitcase was too large to fit in the overhead bin. This realization came at the exact moment when everyone gets that frantic look in their eye as they scramble to get out of the way of the other passengers attempting to board. I saw no other option but to sit down and hold my suitcase while I thought of plan B. My suitcase was simply too high to fit into the bin. I began inwardly blaming my mother for this predicament as I stuffed baby clothes into my purse. On try #2, it still didn't fit. People were staring and muttering "that girl needs to check her bag." I was sweating. My face was red. I sat down again, thinking of the $20 down the drain if I had to check the bag. I had to do the unthinkable and pull all of my personal undergarments out of the top pouch that was causing the whole problem. I quickly shoved them into my purse along with the baby clothes, strawberries and snow peas. The stewardess was quickly approaching. Someone must have warned her about me. Try #3. It worked! Remarkably, the suitcase fit into the overhead. I sat down traumatized. Needless to say, my sister was elated when she received all the goodies. I'm slowly but surely getting over the incident.

In other news, my niece is 100% adorable. My sister and brother in law are doing a fantastic job as they learn this whole parenting gig. I've been trying to help Jeannie get a little sleep so this morning Margaret slept in the bed with me for two hours. It was glorious. I babysat today while Jeannie and Jesse went on their first date since 'lil Margie was born. She started fading towards the end of our special alone time, and was basically wailing her lungs out. She suddenly grabbed my thumb and held it next to her face for comfort. Thankfully Jeannie walked in just in time to get a great picture:Margaret and I have gone on long walks around the capitol every day in her fancy stroller. On the other hand, Thomas is most likely eating Super Taco and Seneca Family Restaurant each day of my absence....

Home again...or not

I don't know where to begin about our trip home. Most of you know about the situation with Ben Ramsey's dad. We were so thankful the Lord orchestrated things so that we happened to be and hour and a half away from the hospital and were able to be with Ben and his family throughout that time of grief. It is a comfort to know that Tom Ramsey is with his Heavenly Father. From our time with his family, it was so evident that his life reflected the glory of the Lord. What a testimony that he taught his children so much and had such a wonderful relationship with his family. I keep telling Ben to concentrate on the traits about his dad that he respected so much. Maybe later Ben will let me post the "Tom Ramsey Top Ten Financial Rules" in his honor!
We left the hospital around 2:30 on Tuesday afternoon. We drove 9 hours to Kansas City. We then stopped at IHOP at 10pm for dinner. It was my first time. Let me just say, if you've been riding in the car that long, and you're married to an offensive lineman, IHOP can truely become a fine dining experience.
Back in the car, Thomas was fixated on sleeping in a tent at least one night. Thanks to Coach Scott REMINDING Thomas that I deserve better....we stayed at the Comfort Inn and I must say, as picky as I am about hotels, the sheets were AMAZING. End of story. The next day we headed South for a ten hour drive to Camp Desoto where I'd worked the summer after my freshman year. Some of the mishaps on this leg of the trip: waiting until 2pm to eat lunch at Cracker Barrel aka bad moods because of extreme hunger; our GPS taking us to a non-existent Chick-fil-A for supper; me beating my extremely competitive husband at "The Alphabet Game" right before we pulled into Camp. My good friend Emily Shuler hooked us up with a great cabin for the night. We slept with the doors open and could hear the little waterfall the entire night. Great sleep. The next morning Emily and Sarah Hurt fixed us breakfast at the farm that camp owns. Here are some of the newborn babies at the farm:


We FINALLY arrived home Thursday afternoon at 5:30. I immediately dove into the wedding festivities for my good friend Sarah Kathryn. A truely hilarious occasion. After SEVEN years of dating, Sarah Kathryn finally got to marry Jordan. Praise the Lord. Sunday I read a mindless book in bed from 1:30 in the afternoon until 6:30 that evening while Thomas played a video game. Maybe its just us, but we think we deserved the restful few hours.

Drumroll please.....THE INCLINE

We did it!!!! We officially completed The Incline, also known as The Vertical Mile. It's a solid MILE of steps. Doesn't sound that bad, right? Beforehand, Thomas and I discussed the fact that we can "do anything for one mile." Not so. Come to find out--Thomas is terrified of heights and I have zero mental toughness. I stopped for air as often as possible. We hiked it with Keri and Nicole. Keri, the one who had a baby 13 months ago, kicked all of our butts! Sweet Nicole stuck with me, even though she does The Incline like once a week. We finished it in around an hour, thanks to Micah and Skylar who cheered us on from the baby backpack. They'd hiked the 4 mile path that zig-zags up the mountain. Here are Keri, Skylar and Micah at the peak. They've been our gracious hosts for like ten days now:


On Friday we went to the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo and The Air Force Academy. At the zoo, we found out that people will not park in a parking spot while an offensive lineman stands guard. Parking was a nightmare, so Thomas stood in an empty spot, while holding Skylar, while chatting on the phone. People gave him horrible, dirty looks, but no one attempted to park here....Here we are at the Air Force Academy where it was FREEZING. I was not dressed appropriately for the altitude/gale force winds. We met up with Ben Ramsey and his family at the Welcome Center. His brother-in-law, Jay, is helping open up a Chick-Fil-A in Colorado so his whole family came for a visit! Although we see them regularly, there is just something about seeing people you know in a faraway place.
The only other notable event took place for about nine hours today. Micah slaved over the grill, making homemade ribs for all of us. We ate them tonight after smelling them alllll day. Micah and Thomas reverted into cave-man mode, grunting and gnawing at piles of ribs. Keri, Nicole and I watched in horrified silence, fearful for our lives. Now, they're continuing "man time" by laying on the floor and watching Saturday Night Life re-runs.

These are the Rockies, right??

I'll try to outline the highlights of our Colorado trip thus far. It has been absolutely amazing! Keri, Micah, Skylar and Nicole are wonderful hosts and have shown us a great time.
Saturday morning we went to watch Micah's brother-in-law Andy participate in a triathlon at the Air Force Academy. It was a dreary day with lots of fog, but apparently our cheering did some good as Andy came in 2nd in his age group! Afterwards, Nicole took us to Chipotle, our new favorite burrito place. Way better than Moes. Not even a close second. The cilantro-lime rice is to die for! We didn't do much Saturday afternoon or Sunday as the weather was yucky. (Thomas and I were thankful for the time to catch up on some rest after our psycho cross-country trek.)
On Monday we toured the Olympic Training facility here in Colorado Springs.It was cool to see all the athletes in training. Many of them spend 3-5 years at the training center, perfecting their sport. Thomas especially loved meeting Brandon Slay, the 2000 wrestling gold medalist. To be honest, I was thrilled to hear that Olympic swimmers the AquaJogger. Although I doubt they flail and sputter in the water quite the same way I do...
As much as I enjoyed the Olympic facility, Barracuda Bazaar was the highlight of my day. It makes me sad that I live so far away and can't check out their weekly shipments. Keri, Nicole and I dug through the clothes while Micah and Thomas looked at a book about...cracks. They're quite mature.
Tuesday we hiked around in the Garden of the Gods. Such a neat place. But really very strange to see all the orange rocks in the middle of Colorado Springs. Then, Thomas and I headed up to Spring Canyon, where we stayed in the honeymoon cabin for 2 nights! On the way there, we had disaster #689439845 of our trip when Thomas clogged up the toilet in a diner in some tiny ghost town. He said he had two choices: run from the scene, or own up and ask for a plunger. He chose option 2 while I sat with a couple of old chain smokers in the corner. Pretty hilarious.
After we finally made it to Spring Canyon, we had the most relaxing time and of course, ate wonderful food. Fabulous brick oven pizza at Amicas and dinner at Tennessee Pass Cafe in the highest city in America, Leadville, Colorado. Oh, and did I mention we ate at Kay's hamburger joint in Buena Vista THREE TIMES?? We'd heard how great it was, but it's so good it doesn't even have a website. On our way back to Colorado Springs, we stopped at the Great Sand Dunes National Park. It wasn't exactly "on our way" back--it was 2 hours out of the way. I was in a horrible mood, frequently reminding Thomas that I thought the sand dunes would be man made and a scam. It turned out to be one of the most bizarre places I've ever been. Definitely worth the trip through the middle of no where. Here are some photos from our time thus far.

Pictures don't do the scenery justice. But this lake was very close to Spring Canyon. Can you tell how bizarre the Sand Dunes are?? Snowy peaks in the background. Enormous Sand Dunes. A river. What more can you wish for?

Thomas with the deer carcass we found while hiking in Sand Dunes National Park. K's fine dining. Our favorite.

We made it.

Astonishingly, we made it to Colorado Springs in one piece. We took the northern route passing through Atlanta, Chattanooga, Nashville, St. Louis, Kansas City, and finally Colorado Springs.
We've always joked that we'd love to be BBQ critics. Little did we know Road Trip 2k9 would turn into just that. We had BBQ from two distinctly different (but equally fantastic) hole-in-the-wall joints. Sugar's Ribs in Chattanooga was more my style with 4 sweet sauces and the most amazing grilled okra I've ever tasted. I had the pulled pork which was exactly that--8 oz of pork that had fallen straight from the bone onto my plate. Thomas opted for the half rack of ribs, much more his style as he was able to gnaw the meat straight from the bone, with perfectly moist grilled cornbread sticks on the side. We left Sugar's entirely satisfied. Here is Thomas enjoying ribs:

We stayed the night in East St. Louis with folks we've met once. That's right. The Austin's have no fear when asking for free things, including a warm bed. Shane and Kristin are working in East St Louis with an inner-city ministry called Rebirth International, and were incredibly hospitable. (Jeannie--we slept in a double bed and had a GREAT night's rest. It is possible for a combined total of 450 lbs to sleep well. Anywhere.) We were encouraged hearing about their ministry and the things the Lord has done thus far.
The next morning we toured the Anheuser-Bush Brewery in downtown St. Louis, thoroughly enjoying the free beer at the end. We'd planned to visit the St. Louis Zoo, but it was raining so that didn't seem very attractive. Thomas mentioned the fact that we were a total of 12 hours from his sister's house in Colorado Springs. We both got a wild look in our eyes........
We were planning on spening Friday night in Ft. Leavenworth. Instead, we decided to leave St. Louis at 12 Central time, cramming down turkey sandwiches from our cooler. People kept calling us and telling us we were crazy. My brother related driving across Kansas to "4-5 hours of Purgatory." These things only spurred us onward.
Took a pit stop in Kansas City for more BBQ at Arthur Bryant's. The portions were colossal. It reminded me of The Beacon in Spartanburg. The man taking my order stressed me out as he stared me down and yelled "whaddya want?!" Meanwhile, Thomas chatted it up with the locals, finding out what he should order. He got smoked ham and beef briscuit. Piles and piles of it. Since I hadn't asked anyone what to order, I got a BBQ sandwich. I love sauce, but there was entirely too much on this for one sandwich. The homemade dill pickles and french fries made up for it. I had to drag Thomas away after he said he wanted ANOTHER sandwich. Look how much meat is on there!
Things were uneventful until I-70 began leveling out in western Kansas. We began playing this newlywed game we've never had time for. I was driving and lost track of my speed. I'm sort of notorious for my lead foot, and this was no exception. Thomas had mentioned this fact quite a few times throughout the last 300 miles, but we were having such a good time answering quiz questions, neither one of us saw the blue lights. The police officer waltzed up to my window. This was no ordinary police officer. Long story short, Thomas ended up sitting IN THE POLICE CAR with the officer, chatting about the best route to Colorado Springs. Meanwhile, I was doubled over with laughter in the Camry, confident this man was NOT giving me a ticket. Not so. Apparently this guy gets his kicks making people like me think they're off the hook, then slapping them with a $135 ticket and a "have a nice trip now will ya?" The only thing that negated this horrible human being was the fact that the cashier at our next gas stop gave us chewy SweetTarts. Free of charge. A surefire way to our hearts.
Thomas insisted we follow the horrible police officer's directions. He'd claimed it would cut 45 miles off of our trip, informing us that our GPS would "lie" to us and send us another way. Turns out, the police officer also gets his kicks from sending unsuspecting folks through parts of Kansas with literally no civilization. It reminded me of this scene from North by Northwest. No towns, no gas stations, no houses, no lights. Just land. Amazingly, we arrived at Keri and Micah's at 11:30 pm Friday night.

The Last Four Months

Didn’t go anywhere for another two months. Then we headed to Charleston for Spring Break. A friend had generously offered us his condo on the Ashley River (just one of the perks of being married in college.) Day 1: Thomas sat on the glorious king-sized bed. It broke. We ran to Lowes to get boards for make-shift slats. Lowes did not have a working saw. They referred us to Home Depot across the street, where we discovered Thomas’ estimation was one inch too short. The slats fell straight through the bed. We put the mattress on the floor and slept there the rest of the week. Day 2: We ran into my dentist at church. He and his wife graciously took us to dinner at Blossom Cafe. Another blessing of being married in college. Day 3: raining so we went to the aquarium. Ate “supper” at 4pm at Bubba Gumps because in the words of Thomas Austin “it just smells so good. Let’s cancel our reservations at ___name of fancy restaurant____ and just eat here.” Day 3: Cypress Gardens in Monks Corner. Canoed through a swamp full of alligators, azaleas, and camellias . Dream come true for me. Day 4: On our way to ride bikes, Thomas glanced over at the GPS for directions, only to smash into the front of a car in the left lane. Inside the car were two 79 year-old women on their way to visit a dying friend in the hospital. We felt horrible, especially since the front bumper of their car fell off and there was not even one scratch on Thomas’ truck. We waited for the policeman to fill out the accident report while I attempted to drop facts about Thomas being a Clemson football player. Hey, you gotta use that to your advantage when you can…. however, these laides were clueless and probably hadn’t even heard of Clemson much less football. They did invite us to church that night for St. Patty’s Day supper.

Am I still on Day 4?? Yes, because after we hit the old ladies, it was time for our cooking class. We’d been looking forward to it all week, only to find that I’d registered us for the WRONG DAY. No refund. Did I mention no refund? $50 down the drain. We headed to drown our sorrows at “The Wreck,” a fabulous hole-in-the-wall seafood restaurant in Mount Pleasant. After finally finding the place, we discovered it was only open for dinner. We headed to restaurant No. 2 at 3:00 pm. Not hungry anymore because we’d waited so long. Rode bikes in Old Towne Mount Pleasant. Absolutely fabulous. Headed back to “The Wreck” for the long-awaited dinner. Also fabulous. Drove around for an hour looking for a movie theater that didn’t exist. Went back to condo to drown our sorrows in the sixth season of Friends (Thomas’ obsession.)

Day 5 and 6 were wonderfully uneventful.

Stuck around Clemson for another three weeks. I went to New Orleans for a presentation with my Global South/Dirty South class. Took my friend Caroline with me. Had a blast. Stayed in a random, slightly creepy, extremely old bed and breakfast called the St. Charles Guest House.

I got back just in time for the Spring Game. Uneventful like always. We headed to The Masters the next day (yes, we went to The Masters on Easter Sunday. My mother was horrified.) Split the two tickets with my brother and sister-in-law. We hung out at Starbucks for the AM while they attended the tournament. Thomas took a nap in their mini-van while I caught up on school. Thomas woke up quite confused by the automatic doors and proceeded to lock the keys in the mini-van. Good thing my AAA card still works from my days of being single. We waited for TWO HOURS as the system was backed up with calls from the greater Augusta area. Stupid Masters. Of course, we drowned our sorrows in the closest food establishment. Which was a Mexican Restaurant. Called El Charro or Los Bravos or Tres Amigos, I can’t remember. We ate “light” since we’d heard how great the food is at The Masters. Chicken quesadillas, chips and salsa. Thomas dumped the salsa all over my brother’s beloved Sports Illustrated. I threw my body in front of the trash can to keep him from throwing the magazine away. Daniel, you can thank me later.

I guess that gets you up-to-date on the events of our marriage thus far. My sister requested I start a blog for our two week trek to Colorado. I resisted. But after our twin mattress predicament and my time at Pendleton Tire watching Thomas eat Waffle King, I realized it had to be done. Not to mention the fact that I regularly feed anywhere from 2 to 30 football players at a time. But we won’t get into that. Sorry this first post is so long, but it was imperative that I give you some background before we officially begin our journey. By the way, they fixed our tire for just $19. Thank you, Pendleton Tire.

The First Six Months

I don’t like blogs. I don’t read them. I don’t support them. (Well, okay, I’ll admit. I read the Pioneer Woman’s blog because I love her life. And I check my sister’s cooking blog about once a month because I need all the cooking help I can get. So why am I creating a blog, asking YOU to read it? Because our life is out of control enough to ask you to read. Right now, I am sitting in the parking lot of The Pendleton Tire Company. My husband just walked across the street to eat WAFFLE KING for breakfast. Not only are we starting our two week journey to Colorado with 1000 plus calories, we also woke up to a flat tire. We haven’t even made it out of the county. The story doesn’t start there. It began Tuesday night when I asked Thomas to blow up the air mattress we’ve been planning to sleep on as we drive across the country. You know, to see if it had a leak that couldn’t support 460 pounds for 8 hours of sleep (that’s how much our combined weight is.) Whaddya know, we pumped up the air mattress only to discover that our “queen” mattress is…….a……..TWIN MATTRESS. Thomas barely fits on it. Much less Thomas+Margaret=460 pounds.

I failed to mention that the story of our life doesn’t start with this trip. It all started July 5, 2008. We jumped into the Camry on the way to our honeymoon, only to realize I forgot to put gas in my car. Putting gas in my car wasn’t really top on my list on my wedding day. Great timing, huh? After we filled up with gas in the torrential downpour, we headed to our hotel. Thomas become conscious of the fact that he’d left his license, debit card, and all other forms of payment and identification in his car. Don’t forget we took the Camry (my car) on our honeymoon. Therefore, I paid for our hotel the first night. Other eventful happenings on our honeymoon: we got stuck in a drive-through car wash, Thomas bought 8 loaves of bread from the bakery at Harris Teeter, and we stayed 3 nights in a cabin 45 minutes from civilization. **Disclaimer. Thomas says the fact that I drive a Camry (a “foreign” car) is the root of all our sorrows. How dare he insult the Cam-Cam like that!**.

We didn’t go anywhere too exciting for the next five months until the Gator Bowl. Not much to say about that minus the fact that I was the only female sleeping on an entire floor of the Omni full of football players. Five or six of them would stay in our room until 12 or 1 every night playing intense games of Connect Four. That’s about it for Jacksonville.