Singe Lashes, Singe Pizza

Well, my sister accused me of being BORING for not having posted since mid-July. I was highly offended!

Here are some highlights from the past 2 months:

-Margaret going to multiple scrimmages and sweating immensely in Death Valley to support her man in the hot August sun. I stand by my man, do you stand by yours??

-Thomas participating in a fake aka scripted fight during the last scrimmage. This was in order to demonstrate for the Freshies how worthless it is to fight during a game and get yourself kicked out of not one but two games. I hope my husband took his own lesson to heart........

-Going to Frankie's Fun Park for a 7 year-old's birthday party. Watching Thomas do a front roll to avoid getting hit while playing Lazer Tag=priceless.

-Thomas making a "B" in yoga. I told him if he made a "B" it would mean I could publicly ridicule him. So I'm taking this opportunity to do so. All he had to do was A. attend class 3x a week. B. participate in class. C. make a body chart. Thomas procrastinated on making the body chart (simply tracing an outline of your body onto butcher paper). He procrastinated so long, he FORGOT. Therefore, he received a "B" for yoga. Feel free to email or call him to ridicule him further.

-Thomas, Michael Palmer, and Mason Cloy on a 2hour local radio talk show. Anyone could call in and ask questions. I called in an hour and 45 minutes into the show and asked when Thomas was coming home.

The most recent event, and perhaps the funniest, would be my cooking adventures last night. I'm mastering the art of grilling (grilled 17 lbs of chicken breast for our last fajita night--by myself!) but I haven't gotten the full hang of it yet. Last night I was really excited to surprise Thomas with grilled pizza. We usually do take-out pizza on Sunday nights, but in an effort to save $$ I decided to make it myself.

I proceeded turn the grill on. I got the gas going and moved to lighting the burners. However, I forgot that the middle burner must be turned on first in order to ignite the others. I found out that this step is crucial because shortly after I turned on ALL FOUR BURNERS and hit ignite, a huge WHOOSH of flames lept out of the grill. When I say huge, I mean HUGE. Oh, if only you could've seen me. I was convinced I was on the verge of burning our back porch down, so I searched frantically for any flames that may have gotten loose. None. Breathing a sigh of relief, I thought how fortunate I was to have come away unscathed.

I put the pizza on the grill and checked on it religiously for the next 8 minutes or so. After the last check, I thought "ok I can leave this for a bit and come back." False. When I came back about 5 minutes later, the pizza had burned to the grill. Like, the bars of the grill were part of the pizza. After scraping away the remainders, Thomas walked in to find his dejected wife mourning the failed pizza. Being the resourceful offensive lineman and husband that he is, he suggested scraping the toppings off (they weren't burned) and transferring them to another pizza crust. It wasn't quite as tasty as it could've been, but it was still edible.

Shortly after dinner, I walked into the bathroom and discovered, to my horror, that the tips of my eyelashes were white! SINGED. I began looking at the rest of my body and found that the hairs on my arms were singed, along with the hair on the front of my head! I can't even explain to you the trauma that occurred in our home. Thomas sat reading while I ran in every 2 minutes to remind him to be thankful I was alive--and that he was a horrible husband for not even NOTICING the singed hairs all over the parts of my body that were anywhere near the grill.

That's all for now folks.